It’s Not Like That Season 1 Episode 3 Review: Healing Ignites, Boundaries Blur & Tensions Rise

Critic’s Rating: 4.1 / 5.0

4.1

Life’s transitions are hard and messy.

And It’s Not Like That Season 1 Episode 3 explored that well, as the Jeffries family grappled with letting some of Jenny’s belongings go, while some of the tension between the Soto family came to a head.

Amid it all, the relationship between Malcolm and Lori has only grown stronger, but it is also on their families’ radar.

When you lose someone, especially in such a tragic way as cancer taking them from you, it’s sometimes hard to move forward.

The urge to cling to every little piece of them is strong, and sometimes the best way to do that is through all their belongings.

We can surmise that it’s been roughly a year since Jenny died, and Malcolm had apparently known about Jenny’s condition well before anyone else.

In some ways, that gave him more time to grieve and accept what was happening to her, them, and their family.

But I’m sure that weighed heavily on him in other ways, too.

There were moments when I was frustrated that Malcolm was so insistent on the kids helping him go through Jenny’s things so they could donate them to a rummage sale. Everyone grieves in their own way and within their own time.

It almost felt as if he was trying to dictate when it was the right time for the kids to take these steps forward, and it’s not really up to him to decide that.

I wasn’t surprised when the kids pushed back on that, namely Flora and Pen. It’s taking them a bit longer to process things on their own, or at least they seem more internal in how they’re grieving compared to Justin.

But knowing that the interfaith rummage sale was an event that Jenny orchestrated herself every year and that it meant a lot to her, at least framed this timing better.

Essentially, donating some of Jenny’s belongings, or just the things they weren’t using as much anymore, was a great way to honor their mother.

It did serve as a healing moment amid their grief, and it allowed Malcolm and the kids to have conversations or moments that may have been necessary for them.

Justin took to things well, as he tends to do, and Flora resisted but eventually found her own path in a way I respected. But I genuinely admire Flora and the way she handles herself.

She often feels the most honest, holding her own space in any room, voicing her stance with her father, even when it’s difficult, but also respecting and honoring him.

With Flora, open communication is where she thrives — she can give it, but she also expects it in return.

Eventually, she came around to doing what was best for her and honoring her mother. And I loved that she kept the car.

But my favorite moment of this ordeal was Pen basking in the sweetness of a new mother wearing the hat that had belonged to her mother. You could tell in that moment that Pen realized there was beauty in these things.

It was like sharing pieces of her mother with the rest of the world, and those pieces get to live on elsewhere. Giving away some of her mother’s things didn’t mean she was letting her go — if anything, it immortalizes her memory — it carries on.

Malcolm was the most adamant about this decision, yet he struggled the most when it was time to give up something Jenny had bought for him.

My heart broke a little when he snapped at the man who wanted to haggle over a belt buckle Jenny had bought him.

Grief has a way of just sneaking up on you in the most inopportune times and breaking you down. But that moment with Malcolm was so great because he’s been this pillar of strength and stability so far.

As endearing as it is to see him comfort others, it’s those moments when he breaks down a bit that are most compelling. They remind us that he’s human, too, and that he’s still a man grieving and in pain.

He doesn’t have all of this figured out in the least, even when he’s trying to move forward.

It’s Not Like That has the tricky task of depicting Malcolm as a man who still misses and grieves for his wife while also exploring what it’s like for him, as he’s clearly on the cusp of opening his heart again.

Foley and Hayes are charismatic enough and exude vulnerability well enough that this works.

Similarly, we see all the layers to Lori and how conflicted she feels about her divorce from David. There is still so much pain there for everyone.

You can tell that if she had her way, they never would’ve divorced in the first place, and that she’s deeply hurt, but what ultimately feels like abandonment, and during a vulnerable time for her.

And her conversation with Malcolm on the subject really cut through to her own insecurities about the dissolution of her marriage.

She’s still wondering when she stopped being enough for David, and that’s not something she can just easily get over.

I would have a hard time as well. What makes it worse is that no one really even understands why the Soto family fell apart, not even David himself. Perhaps that’s why it’s so difficult for them to find any semblance of healing.

Personally, I thought the bird-nesting situation was a solid idea and that there was a pathway for it work out for them.

However, they decided that it was best for David to make that apartment building, stacked with single guys in similar positions to him, work.

David is easily one of the show’s most complex characters. There are moments when he’s just so infuriating. Merritt’s anger toward his father makes so much sense.

It really does feel like David disrupted their entire family and then tried to play the happy family, as if everyone was supposed to get over it and move on.

But it’s hard to move on from something you don’t understand in the first place.

All Merritt knows is that his father has decided to move out and start a new life, and his mother is still reeling from it but trying to save face for them.

Kids are astute. Teenagers read situations far better than adults give them credit for, and Merritt certainly seems to have everyone’s number often.

He’s having a hard time pretending like he’s fine, and he certainly made that clear with David.

The wrestling scene was intense, and Merritt let his temper get the best of him there. But it also seemed to be the first time since all this happened that David finally realized the full extent of the damage he’s caused.

But I felt horrible for David, too. He’s been working hard to prove to his kids that not being with their mother doesn’t mean he’s given up or abandoned them. David is determined to be a great dad.

I also really love that he values culture and tries to ensure his kids are very attuned to their heritage, even when it seems they don’t put as much thought into it as he does.

David is so earnest, and it’s only in moments, ironically, with Malcolm that you get peeks into how much he’s struggling, too.

He still has feelings for Lori — and he seems like a man without an anchor right now. Perhaps he’s trying to figure out who he is outside of her.

As the hour progressed, he went from the character I struggle with the most with to one I truly sympathized with…

There are so many ways that tension amongst the families can intensify because of whatever is brewing between Lori and Malcolm.

It felt really inappropriate for Lori to call Malcolm over to David’s place without letting him know.

There’s a line when it comes to privacy — boundaries. And given how David already feels like Lori “won” Malcolm in the divorce, it felt risky for Malcolm to reinforce that by showing up for Lori there.

It was even worse when David called Malcolm, needing essentially the same kind of discussion Malcolm was giving Lori, but Malcolm didn’t answer.

The different dynamics alone are more than enough to cause tension between David and Lori. But his learning about Malcolm and Lori’s kiss will make things so much worse.

And with Merritt showing this news with Flora and now David, I’m antsy over how this will all play out.

Malcolm and Lori really do have such a great, easy chemistry. On the one hand, it’s easy to see how they can orbit around each other so much and understand how it could evolve.

But on the other hand, there’s an element to their relationship that feels like they’re filling the void Jenny left in their lives with each other.

Sometimes, Malcolm feels like Lori’s replacement best friend. And Lori seems like the confidant he had in his wife.

It’s easy to see how these are things outsiders can and will scrutinize.

Some part of Malcolm seems aware of that, given how he handles conversations about Lori when he’s talking to David and how vague he gets when church members inquire about who he’s speaking to.

It’s Not Like That is so unabashedly human. And yeah, that’s what makes it so messy but also so relatable and compelling.

Ponderings:

• Did Casey earn respect after defending Justin? I was shocked that the girl who had been bullying her actually shared a decent moment with her.
• David playing Salsa music and cooking Ropa Vieja would’ve won me over. The Soto kids are a tough crowd!
• I’m pretty sure Malcolm and I short-circuited for totally different reasons when Lori called him and said she was naked in her ex-husband’s bed. Things you just don’t tell your pastor, you know?
• Flora’s response to Malcolm about potentially putting himself out there was so sweet. She really is wise beyond her years.
• It feels like Malcolm forced himself to text Sarah because he doesn’t know what to do about his feelings for Lori, and he also feels guilty about the David affair of it all.
• Merritt and Flora’s burgeoning romance is one of my favorite things. She’s intuitive enough to hear him in ways others don’t, and he sees and admires her for all her finest qualities.

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It’s Not Like That streams Sundays on Wonder Project when you subscribe via Prime Video.

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